Are You Staring At Me?

An interesting thing we have noticed in Madrid is that whenever you go out, people tend to stare. In Los Angeles, it seems like people go out of their way to get stared at by either dressing a certain way or choosing a unique hairstyle. Here you don’t have to do anything. You just walk around the streets, or in the subway, or by a restaurant, and the majority of Spaniards will size you up. I noticed this peculiarity immediately when we arrived, and thought maybe Trisha and I appeared somewhat odd. Did we dress like tourists? Was their something exotic about the way we looked? I discovered it wasn’t either of those.

There are a huge variety of people here and we’re no more exotic than the next person. No, we don’t really look Spanish, but with the large amounts of Germans, Americans, English, and Eastern Europeans around, I think we appear rather normal. As for the tourist attire, we do our best not to look like them (mostly because they attract pick-pockets). The tourists that do stick out are typically unapologetic about looking like a tourist. The camera hanging from the neck, hat with flaps in the rear, fanny backs, and maps in hand are the dead giveaways. I actually find it endearing to see some tourists dressed like tourists because it reminds me of going on a safari or some wild adventure somewhere. No, the stares are not from any of those things.

Staring in Spain appears to be just as normal as walking, and everyone gets sized up no matter who you are (Spaniards included). In fact the staring is a way to identify the locals, as a passing German, American, Asian, or Latin American will rarely give you a second glance. But the Spaniards love to lock on and check you out. Now this is different than the normal guy checking out a girl, although that definitely happens here too. This is more like stare at everyone you pass whether they’re male or female. And I have concluded that there are three types of stares one may receive while around town.

The first is the quick glance, your not that interesting, but since I am a starer, I’ll give you a little of my ocular time. This is my most commonly received stare, and one of course that my beautiful wife rarely receives. The second stare is the I’ll stare long enough for you to notice, and I’ll not give any outward sign of emotion, so you feel uncomfortable and must wonder what I’m thinking about to stare this long at you. This one is typical in the subway as there is more staring time from station to station. I have also noticed this one from people sitting at outside patios in the afternoon having drinks. The final stare is the holy crap, where did you park your spaceship, because you must be from another planet, and now I can tell my friends extraterrestrial life does exist. This is the longest and most noticeable of the stares. It doesn’t happen too often, but you remember it when it does. Trisha gets it from time to time from guys, and we had a family give us this one while we were in the park once (not sure why though). The most frequent time we receive this one is while we’re working-out in the city.

Working-out is not big here (smoking and drinking are), and although most Spaniards are slender and appear fit, the site of us walking through the streets in our workout clothes definitely gets the second and third stares. I’m not totally convinced the third stare is merited while we’re walking through the streets or in the park for exercise, as I have seen Spaniards working out, dressed in similar attire. Perhaps it’s that we don’t limit our workout walks to the park, and will trounce through any part of the city to explore and raise our heartbeats.

In summary, if you come to Madrid, expect to have your share of glances, size-ups, and transfixed gazes thrown your way. You’ll soon learn not to take it personally, and in time maybe even throw a few stares back at your Spanish neighbor.