1. First of all, you have to like "the look" of the bar. The sign and the name, the warm glow from within, the number of people inside, and the amount of (hopefully the lack of) smoke inside. But then there are a few other things that characterize the tapas bars here in Spain that either draw us in or send us away:
-The "Old Man Bars." These are the ones that have anywhere from 1 to 4 older men sitting at the bar with a cerveza, at all times of the day, even if it's 8:00am. These men spend all their days at their choice bars, socializing with their companions and the bartender, and watching the world go by. We stay away from these. They are not female-friendly, they lack character, and the smoke level is way beyond our level of tolerance.
-The "Slot Machine Bars." These share the clientele of the bar listed above, but in addition to an already seedy feel is the placement of 2-3 slot machines. We don't quite know the gambling laws here in Spain, but some form of it is allowed, and sometimes this takes place in the tapas bars. We stay away from these too. Not classy enough.
-The "Jamon-Saturated Bars." These bars have so much ham inside that when you walk in the aroma is so strong you feel like you are trapped in a meat locker. The ham is either hanging from the ceiling drying out (sometimes there are 30 or more whole pig haunches up there!), cut up on bocadillos (sandwiches) ready to serve as the "free tapa," or sliced up on large plates for those who actually order a whole portion for their lunch. This type of bar is not our first choice either- it takes to long to wash the ham smell off your clothes once you leave.
-The "Techno-Nuevo Modern Bars." These ultra-hip bars are so posh and sleek, you'd have to be wearing the top name brand clothes to order a drink here. They look frighteningly euro with their bright colors, stark walls and square accents. You can't find familiar tapas on these menus, they only serve the fancy mixed drinks and typical "cocktail" condiments.
Being that these establishments are everywhere, there are plenty of choices. But it's one of those things that when you see the first one and decide it looks pretty good, you still move on because you think you can do better. However, you then end up walking for an hour because you never found one as good as the first, and now you've wound yourself through so many little streets that you'll never make your way back to finding it again. So you settle in at the second best and make the most of it.
Here is an example of a tapas bar with the "perfect" look. This is one of our favorites:
2. So once you've found the tapas bar with the perfect atmosphere, there's one essential thing you must do before you sit down. You need to look around at the other patrons to see if they have a small tapas plate in front of them. You see, it is customary in most of the bars here in Madrid to serve you a complementary tapa at the time you order your drinks. As we've described to you before, these tapas can be anything from a bowl of chips, to plate of olives, to two complete sandwiches that would easily fill you up.
When you see a scene like this on the counter, you're probably in luck for a free tapa- the goodies look ready to serve and there are many options.
If we don't take the step of observing the other customers first, we may be burned. Not all bars have to serve this free tapa, so sometimes you end up getting nothing. This has happened to us a number of times. It's always pretty sad because you know that at that bar next door you probably would have gotten more bang for your buck. Or at least more sustenance!
When we're not given a free tapa, we're of course left with the option of ordering one. Because we like to cook at home and not ruin our appetites, we typically only order full-size tapas once or twice a week, usually on the weekends. Our favorite tapa to order is a piece of Tortilla Espanol, pictured above. This is basically a Spanish-type omelet with potatoes, eggs and onions, and it tastes wonderfully good warmed up with a thick slice of bread.
But, when it's a typical night and a tapa is not served, we're left to stare at many different options they could serve us, since they're all displayed under their glass in front of us at the bar. (By the way, we always sit at the bar... if you sit at a table you're charged at least a euro more per item you order.)
3. So lets say we've now found the right bar, established ourselves in two seats away from any smokers, and we're confident that we're going to be served a complementary tapa with our drink order. We always say the same thing when ordering:Travis: "Me gustaria una cana por favor.... " Trisha: "...y me gustaria uno vaso de vino de la casa." Then they ask: "Tinto or Blanca?" and I answer depending on my preference of red or white wine. With this order Travis is served a cana (glass) of draft beer and I am served a glass wine. This order never runs us over 5 euro (about $7), and sometimes we're lucky enough to only pay 2.20 euro (about $4).
Now comes the fun part, what free tapa will the bartender decide to serve us? It could be anything really depending on his mood for the night, what is most freshly prepared, or on what drinks we order. Here are just a few pictures of what might end up on a plate in front of us.
...jamon on bread or some croquette-type thing...
... the bar's specialty of aged, thinly-sliced jamon...
...sardines- anyone interested?
...this one was our absolute favorite and we wish the bar was nearer to our home-mussels topped with a flavorful salsa...
...sometimes however, we don't end up so lucky. What is this?! We wish we could tell you. Travis was brave enough to put one piece of this substance in his mouth, but because of it he lost his appetite for dinner. We're pretty sure that it might have been Spain's local specialty of Pig's Ears.
...this is another dish we've been served more than once. Again we ask- what is this? It's similar to a potato salad but with a mixture of eggs, tuna, potatoes and some thick, white creamy sauce on top. Would anyone like to try it?
... well, thank goodness there's always the sure-fire "acetunas" = olives. This is pretty much the staple in all the bars, and if you don't get a free tapa you can always ask for a plate of olives and it's typically free. The first few weeks here, Travis and I really enjoyed the olives. They were a perfect accompaniment to our drinks. Now however, you couldn't make us eat even one! We're so sick of them we'd rather go a day without food than eat a green olive.
So, that is the process of selecting a tapas bar and making the most out of your tapas experience. If you're ever in Madrid- we'd love to share with you our favorites and we'd definitely include where NOT to go. As you can see, it's really a mixed bag.
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